Thursday, September 22, 2016

Formal E-mail writing


To: Brad Blackstone

From: Lim Wei Sheng

Date: 21st September 2016

Subject: Introduction about myself

Dear Brad,

My name is Lim Wei Sheng, and I'm from the course Telematics in SIT. I'm writing this email to you to formally introduce myself to you.

I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in the Year 2014 with a Diploma in Aerospace Electronics. During my course of study, I learn about aircraft electronics, basic programming, signal processing and some mechanical aspects of an aircraft.

I have great interest in aircrafts. That is one of the reasons I studied aerospace during my polytechnic days. I also like computers in general. Every day, I read about the latest development in the technology industry, like new graphics card, or new phone. I also spend hours weekly watching YouTube videos about tech stuffs. I also enjoy watching movies at the cinema, and I do it on a weekly basis.

My goal in SIT is to further deepen my knowledge in electrical engineering, and to learn more about infocomm technology, particularly in telematics. I also wish to improve on core subjects like, Mathematics, which I did not do so well back in polytechnic. My aim for the future is to help improve the transportation infrastructure in Singapore, using the skills and knowledge I gain from my course of studies in SIT.

I hoped you enjoyed reading this email, and I wish you a great day.

Yours sincerely,
Lim Wei Sheng



Commented on Peng Wee's , Boris's and Derrick's blogs
Revised on 30 September 2016
Posted by at

3 comments:

  1. Derrick HiuSeptember 22, 2016 at 10:28 PM

    Dear Wei Sheng,

    I enjoyed reading your post, and from it I got to know you better. Wow, I never knew you had interests in aircrafts. Your diploma and interests are quite related to Telematics, so I'm sure this course would be a breeze to you.

    Study hard and enjoy your 3 years in university!

    Best Regards,
    Derrick Hiu

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 26, 2016 at 10:53 PM

    Thank you, Wei Sheng, for this clear, fairly concise and comprehensive introduction. You do a good job presenting your academic background, your hobbies and your goals. It's clear from this letter why studying telematics appeals to you.

    Your language use is quite good, but there is a need for revision in these areas:

    1) verbosity: repetitive
    --- I'm writing this email to you to formally introduce myself to you, and to let you know more about me.
    --- From my course of study in SP...
    2) verb tense error
    --- From my course of study in SP, I learn...

    3) overuse of capitalization
    --- ...InfoComm Technology, particularly in Telematics.
    --- I studied Aerospace Electronics...
    --- ...core subjects like, Mathematics....

    I look forward to getting to know more about you this term.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownOctober 5, 2016 at 9:50 AM

    Dear Wei Sheng,

    I enjoyed reading your fine introduction, as it allowed me to know more about your engineering background and specifically your motivations for studying telematics.

    I hope that you will attain your goal of gaining useful engineering knowledge about telematics and infocomm technology in your education journey at SIT.

    I look forward to working with you in the upcoming classes.


    Regards,
    Telson Ting

    ReplyDelete

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